I think I died a long time ago.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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