Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
