no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
