worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
