She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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