My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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