shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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