16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
