he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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