I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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