i would punch a child for taco bell
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize