I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Come share oat with me in your robe
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