you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
