p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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