hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
