I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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