Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
