big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize