your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
