Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
