we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
