Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
