office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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