I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
