Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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