you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
