The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
