He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
