she's into porn, im staying here tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
