Your tits are I can't wait for
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
