He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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