i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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