And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
