i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize