Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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