Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
