I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
