HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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