sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
