Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
