when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
