So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
