Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize