Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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