he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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