Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
how does that bad decision feel?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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