Nicole vs. Life
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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