Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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