i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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