Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
