I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
