dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
