Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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