What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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