if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
