I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize