My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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