I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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