I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
